Listen, here’s the thing: if you can’t spot the Zoidberg third wheel at the romantic moment for two, you are the the Zoidberg third wheel at the romantic moment for two.
aka “A wondrous thing happened, why not.” aka “and me, Zoidberg” aka one of my favorite Futurama endings.
I remember with absurdly ridiculous clarity the moment I first read the so-called sentence “U-R-A-Q-T”. I was in 10th grade and standing in the bedroom of a half-Asian aspiring DJ. I was in his room to get a copy of the bootleg Tony Hawk Pro Skater II for PC that had been going around our school at the time. If you rearranged the letters in his last name and then took a couple out, you could spell “penis.”
Beck, “Clap Hands”
Never been to Milwaukee or Wisconsin, have no particular beef with them, but the Brewers beat the Dodgers 6 of 7 this year, including twice on last inning walk-offs, so fuck ‘em all.
Someone sent me a message a while ago suggesting I should add a tag for outstanding achievement in the field of subtitle excellence, which I never responded to because I’m both lazy (like, teamster lazy) and an asshole and kept saying “I’ll do it a little later, I’ll do it a little later” then never did it. So I’ll start it here, recognizing the “come hither” growl of one Bender B. Rodriguez.
Trying to streamline my life. So, from now on, whenever I’m sitting here for 30 seconds or more and can’t think of a caption or a semi-related personal story from my colorful past, I’m just going to post the song I’m listening to. Let’s start right now:
Aesop Rock - “Zero Dark Thirty”
Bender’s living the dream of living inside your woman.
Fry, Slob Hero.
Bender…honest?! Surely you jest!
I rise and sleep under the blanket of freedom you provide, then question the manner in which you provide it.
